We relate with Emotions

As the clock stumbles forward into the future, I ponder all the exciting moments I have made and the growth of new memories waiting to flourish. Sometimes I feel like everyday I’m a new person. Everyday I become better than who I was yesterday. Yet, I have these creative and toxic feelings, but don’t seem to comprehend the beauty from them.

Why is that a bad thing? Should we be able understand our emotions? Do you want to understand the world so that you know what’s supposed to come next, or do you adventure the mind with questions of thoughts. Which wander you through time asking yourself how did I get here.

“ I’ve been thinking too much, help me. I’m falling so I’m taking my time on this ride.” (Ride by twenty one pilots)

I always knew that writing helps me grasps the idea of my thoughts. And I know that my words are not directly punctured into easily formatted understandings. But they are felt in relatable ways?

As I write, I won’t directly shove paperweight information into your mind. But I will exercise your brain in ways that might aid you into unraveling yourself. We all have problems, none more important than others. We all have emotions, some more informal than others. But what we do have is “relatable.” Despite the situation, we have each other.

So express yourself.

Breaking free from the clouds of toxicity is my writing. What is yours?

The Trade Off

It’s Midnight, but I’m feeling the urge to flutter my words into structural understandings that will help me cope with what has yet to come. As I’m strangled by my misunderstandings and darken thoughts, I push to find the guidance I once spoke about.

For the past few months, I’ve buried the idea that I’d return to such horrid times and painful transitions. But my opportunity is near and with such a wonderful and clear future awaiting my arrival; I simply cannot turn my back now.

As I prepare for these 6 weeks of unquestionable pain. I stop to realize that life is worth much more than emotional and physical setbacks. That life is what lies ahead. That the idea of life is to wander aimlessly without hiding the fact that you’ve mistaken faults for failure. Or you have mistaken bad luck for coincidence, because without those moments you would have never felt warmth.

You might not cherish these words at the moment but I will assure you one day, you will.

I’ve been given the gift of life. I’ve traded my summer for years of happiness and unforgettable memories that have yet to come. As I embark on this procedure to fight of all the evil within my body, I know my heart is stronger than my nerves. And I know that my mind is more creative than the toxic.

I plan to be writing and updating my blog a lot during the trial. Hopefully my mind isn’t affected in ways that force me to cloud my thoughts. I hope to bring a visual journey of this situation in the future to further the understanding of what those in my situation call a normal life.